Swine Flu? Not sexy.

Well the European Union just announced that Europeans should consider canceling non-essential travel to the U.S. and Mexico in order to combat the spread of Swine Flu. Now I’m not saying that this is a “cry wolf” like SARS, West Nile or Bird Flu - but it is the fourth one of these "pin the name on the infectious disease" scares in recent years. And with all the wild swine and porcine-like creatures that are running around Manhattan these days, I’m thinking it’s time to jump ship and head off to Southeast Asia. I’ll just have to take my chances with malaria and yellow fever.

I know, I know. Malaria does seem a little old fashioned. And yellow fever doesn’t really have a name that inspires fear like “swine flu”. But I guess the two big tropical killers just aren’t sexy anymore. DEET bug spray and a mosquito net takes care of most malarial risk, and then there is always the fall back of the mega anti-everything pill: doxycyclene. Personally, I do fancy the time worn and tested gin and quinine filled tonic, sipped slowly from a hammock on the porch of some French era colonial villa overlooking the Mekong. Oh trust, me. We’re going there soon. But again, this isn’t sexy or modern enough for the blare of the 24-hour news media.

And I’ve had tropical diseases. A few of them. And yes, I was fully vaccinated. Mumps was the worst, followed closely by ringworm (for which there isn’t a vaccination). Luckily, I’m all better now, although I do from time to time get the urge to paddle upstream to remote villages where the locals worship me as a god-king and I convert young and innocent members of the Sheen clan to follow me while I prognosticate and gesticulate in shadowy fog filled temples. It happened just last weekend up the Hudson near Millbrook.

Vaccines are never 100 percent effective – they rarely tell you that. They are wonderful preventatives, and there are great treatments for practically anything you might get from a winged pest in Southeast Asia.

The beautiful twist on all of this is that people are being warned not to travel to North America. Mexico I can understand, with all the drugs, kidnappings, guns, and drunken spring break frat boys. Personally, I think this may all be a right-wing conspiracy to bring the issue of illegal immigration back to the fore. If they have “swine flu”, well then that makes ‘em really scary. And we’ll have to seal the borders and deal with it right now! Oooh… I might just be on to something here. Call Air America and NPR, quick!

So my advice is: don’t be scared. For us, or for yourself. We have ways of dealing with these things. Take a deep breath, and if you smell bacon, it’s probably from the breakfast roll I had this morning. If you start to feel like you’re getting a cold or the flu, go to your doctor.

And turn off the news. Seriously. You'll feel much better.

Yes! We are still going to Thailand to volunteer for the Elephant Nature Park. In just one week! You can still make a donation and help! Click here.

Elephants Don't Care What Color Shirt You Wear

Yes, we've been following the situation in Thailand closely, and I am happy to report that the worst seems over. Both sides have called for reconciliation, and it looks like that will happen. From all reports we have seen, including first hand ones from people we know there, the protest and violence was limited to a few neighborhoods in Bangkok. After a few days, even the citizens of these neighborhoods had tired of the protesters, as most had come from outside the city. The rest of the country, especially the north where we will be, remained virtually unaffected.

Most of the reputable news media (Reuters, BBC and the like) seem to think this was likely the last hurrah for the "Red Shirt" supporters of former PM Thaksin Shinawatra. American news media, with their wonderful brand of A.D.D. sensationalization, filled the airwaves with pictures of burning buses and malatov cocktail throwing masked street fighters, until they got distracted by pirates and a new water dog in the White House and forgot about the rest of the world like they usually do.

The current PM Abhisit Vejjajiva, supported by his "Yellow Shirt" contingent, was adamant about the military not using violence against the protesters. In practice, they appear to have done fairly well with that mandate. Not being Thai, I can't pick sides in this issue, and I won't get into all the politics and issue of the charges against Shinawatra. But suffice it to say, the underlying social disparity between the Red and Yellow groups still exists, with the mostly rural based Red Shirts feeling disenfranchised by the upper class Yellows. This will have to be addressed in some form or fashion by PM Vejjajiva, but the fact that the military did not have to step in with another coup is testament that most regular Thai people don't want confrontation or civil war, they merely want a government that represents them and works. Sound familiar? Red and Blue, anyone? Like us, they have bigger issues to face like the economy, health care, and education reform.

So the short of it is that we will still be going to help the elephants at the Nature Park. Something tells me they won't care what color shirt we're wearing, as long as we're feeding and taking good care of them. And don't forget a good scratch behind the ears.

We are still collecting donations for the Elephant Nature Park! Click the link to find out how you can help.

Yes! I want to help out the Elephant Nature Park!